now i'm down on my hands and knees
and it's so fucking hot
someone asks "what are you looking for?"
i scream "the plot, the plot!"
I have far too many great ideas, to be burdened with such a lack of inspiration.
All my creativity flows into me. Like i'm stuck to some current of divine light.. but I have
no reason to do anything with it. I suck.
I find it hard to believe that everyone I know is gone
how many nights must i spend alone?
Everyone has abandoned me
left me to my own devices
how quickly i fall into this despair
and lose myself to my late night vices
game end
at the end of the day
I would choose Lethe
a hero to none
oh god, what monster I've become
with fever fear of the mirror
you know me
I am legend,
the last man alive
I doubt you will like the new me. My teeth are exposed from now on, at least until I find a reason worth covering them, and I don't see any reasons on the horizon. It's time to finish butching up. So for now on i'm a butcher.
I'll carve my name in hearts, as opposed to being crushed by every peice of pretty little ass that has the mental faculties of remembering my name..
I'm on this weird David Bowie kick. It's been the only thing I've been listening too that isn't depressing as shit.
So I guess that is what I need right now. A little reprieve from my self torture. I haven't had sex in a year, and I have had shit luck with relationships. I've never been good at casual sex encounters.. but fuck.. a year. When I finaly do find someone goodly enough to part her thighs for me.. poor woman is in for a shock. It's going to be like the mentos and diet coke experiment. So yeah, I hate my hair, and I've never felt fatter. Oh, and i'm unemployed now. I might have a job bartending again at a local "club".. but I shouldn't hear from them until later this week. so sucks for me and maybe i deserve to be down in the dumps. I'm pretty pathetic.
It's my greatest fault. read more
on exegesis